Painless Dating

Listen here all men and boys!! Being a girl can be extremely painful! I mean this in the physical aspect. With all the physical pain involved with being a female, why do we choose to add emotional pain as well? I am referring to the emotional pain we add to our lives, when dealing with the wrong type of men.

As women, we deal with underwear that is so frilly, yet needs to be invisible under our clothes. It’s like hiding a curtain under a thin bed sheet. We do this all while sporting a permanent wedgie. Yes, that is exactly what a thong/g string really is. A 24/7 piece of fabric we so willingly wear up our ass. This is why I truly have no sympathy for the school nerd, who experiences this every once and awhile due to some insecure jerk. Women do this all day, every day for many and almost all, insecure jerks. That aside we are to be completely and utterly hairless. Including the peach fuzz you could barely see with a microscope but never the less, subtly feel. However, have you ever seen a man getting waxed or threaded? They can’t deal with it. In fact, men who want to get rid of their own hair, tend to take the easy route. I can’t begin to count the number of men I know who shave their chests, arms, etc. Could you imagine what that same man would say if he was running his hands down my arms only to feel shaved stubble? No easy route for us females.


Taking this into consideration, it makes a girl wonder why she should also go through the emotional pain for a man. Because let’s face it, the physical part is for them already. I mean I would personally prefer having a forest on my legs, over getting them waxed. So why should we allow them to control our emotional state as well. Why do we allow a man to ruin our day? Even for things as simple as him not calling!?!

The reality is, when a man wants to be with you they really give it their all. No matter what the circumstance. When it is really you they are after. Women should only allow such men to be in our lives. Women should only focus on the men who give it their all. I am not advising you to play games. I am advising you to keep yourself occupied, to keep yourself busy and fully living your life. This way you’re only making time for those men who are worth it. If he is the type of man who is only calling you on a Friday, late into the evening wondering if you are available. Well than you should tell him you already have plans. But you should really already have plans! Even if you have scheduled your Friday night to picking up the novel that you were too busy to read all week.

You know those men, who need you to twist and turn to fit in the available cracks in their schedule if you want to see him. Well those men will always take you for granted. Why would a man have to go out of his way to see you, if he knows you will make it work on his terms? I can think of countless times I left my friends, to meet a guy when he called last minute. We do this in fear that if we don’t go then, when will he ask next. Then I had to realize that he would never call ahead, never make time, if he knew I would always be available when it was convenient for him. Also how could he appreciate something that was always ready and available!?! It is our natural way of being to appreciate the things we have to work for. Men are especially and almost exclusively this way when it comes to women. If he is the type of man who calls randomly and you go running, even if you are perfect for each other, he will choose another woman. One who has made him work for her.

Genuinely keep your life busy and full! Take part in things that you would not do if you were in a relationship. Constantly expand your social circle by meeting new people, doing new things etc. A man who truly wants to see you will make sure he has booked you down long before. He will make sure he gets time in your busy schedule. He may be inexperienced in doing this. Perhaps he is used to women running to meet up with him the second he makes the call. Perhaps he doesn’t mean to offend you by calling you last minute. But if you are busy after he has done this a few times, he will learn that you are the type of women he needs to book down ahead of time. And if he truly wants to see you, he will do just that. I know how tempting it is to see a man you genuinely have feelings for. But as tempting as it may be to run out the door to see him, don’t do it. It won’t be beneficial in the long run. A sundae covered in caramel and fudge is also tempting, yet not beneficial in the long run. A minute on your lips, five years on your hips. Think of your object of affection in the same way. Always being readily available to satisfy your eagerness to see him, will only have him take advantage of the fact that he can see you whenever. And believe me; eventually he will only see you when it is convenient for him.

This is about a lifestyle choice. I choose to be with someone who will work for it. Appreciate me and leave behind those who don’t treat me in this way. Make a lifestyle choice to be with someone who would put himself on the line. Tell you his feelings no matter how vulnerable he may seem. Make time for you in his busy schedule. A man who is willing and wanting. A man who has decided that you are worth all the effort, because that will be the man who will want you till the end. He will know that as difficult as it may be to get you, you will be worth all the hard work. And it will pay off with the best life experiences together. If the man you have feelings for right now doesn’t behave in this way, then it's time to let him go. Stop thinking about the man he could be when he is with you. The women you could be, if only he was your exclusive. Keep in mind your life is still there; don’t let the days pass you by miserably. Don’t stand still in your life and mope. Don’t wish things had been different, because they aren’t. At least not today.

Today you need to keep occupied. Keep growing, keep learning and be thankful for the things you have. What you can’t do is allow yourself to keep feeling pain for what could have been. I’m sure your next waxing appointment will cause enough pain! Choose to live in the moment with the things you have available in that moment. Every moment of everyday, life is changing for us. Live in those moments. Live with the things you have. And believe that if that man is really for you, he will be there, in that moment life has given you. Not the past, and not the future. The present, this moment. Choose to live your life. Don’t wait for him before you start living.

Hugs,
Sherry Ahkami
http://www.cupidslink.ca/